Perspective

A lot of things in life can be positive or negative depending on how we choose to look at them.  It's the whole is the glass half full or half empty type of thing.  The past few days in our lives have been quite the experience.  I've tried looking at them from the "glass half full" perspective, but its been difficult.

Half Full Perspective - Carly was at the beach with her GG Papa, Papa, Grandma, and Aunt Julia having a lovely time!  David Jr was slowly starting to fall into a routine and slept for one 6 hour stretch on Wednesday night/Thursday morning.  We have fabulous insurance, intelligent doctors, and a nearby medical facility. My mom came up to visit with me and spend some time with David Jr on Thursday and had the flexibility (because of Thursday being a state holiday for my dad) to stay for the remainder of the weekend.

Half Empty Perspective - I woke up after sleeping for a straight 6 hours in more pain that I experience immediately after either of my natural child births.  As the morning progressed, so did the pain.  By 8:00am I was showered, dressed, and ready to call the doctor for an appointment - unfortunately, the office didn't open until 8:30.  The scheduler made me wait and talk to a triage nurse.  By 10am I finally got a call back and convinced this nurse that I needed an appointment and not just a prescription for a UTI.  (I told her I couldn't quite tell where the pain was coming from, but did have stitches from my delivery - although I knew at this point they weren't the problem.)  While I waited for my 2:30pm appointment my mom arrived - not a bad thing I was in a ton of pain.  I check in for my appointment and am seen quickly by one of the two more senior and intelligent doctors in the practice.  However, she has no idea what exactly she is viewing but knows I need a specialist.  She goes an get the other senior and intelligent doctor in the practice and they begin to have professional dialogue about what exactly we are dealing with in hopes to clearly express to a urologist why I need to be seen immediately and not the next day.  We wait in the office for 45 minutes on a nearby urologist to call her back, after getting frustrated with this office the doctor called a second urologist who isn't quite as convenient and gets me in immediately.  While waiting I notify David about what is going on, while also attempting to nurse my son in the OBGYN office and realize that I don't have an insurance card because it is off with Carly.  So David has to leave work and meet me, so that I am able to continue to the urologist.  We rush to this urologist to realize that we are for the last patient of the day and the office is still open just for us.  While I'm filling out paper work David attempts to change David Jr's diaper.  During this "diaper change" David Jr. begins to poop while uncovered making a huge mess.  As I stop filling out paper work to help we get yelled at by the receptionist that I can't help because I need the paper work completed so I can be seen.  I had already given the receptionist her paperwork and was only working on the family history portion at this point - so it wasn't slowing her down from her job.  As this is all happening, the nurse calls us back and starts to fuss because we had put a baby and his changing pad on the floor instead of coming back and using one of the exam tables in a room.  We get back and meet the doctor and I am quickly examined and then catheterized to confirm my diagnoses.  It turns out that while delivering David Jr. exactly 2 weeks earlier I pushed a little too hard and caused my urethra to prolapse - therefore cutting off blood flow to the exposed live tissue, which was dying as a result and causing all of my pain.  The doctor said the only pain relief would be surgery and I would be in less pain immediately following surgery than I was in at the current moment.  He also said that surgery would be the very next afternoon and the nearby hospital.
So, the next afternoon I was readmitted into the same hospital that Carly and David Jr. were born in for outpatient surgery.  I had read on the internet that I would be able to nurse David Jr as soon as surgery was over and I was alert enough to hold him.  Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist felt I should wait 24 hours which meant my 9.5 oz that I left at home with David and David Jr. wasn't going to be enough.  I then heard we had to wait another 90 minutes or so until the operating room would be available for my surgery.  I called David to relay the information and hear that David Jr. just happily accepted a 3.5 oz bottle (based on the books he should have consumed 2 oz).  Hearing the information from the anesthesiologist and David I burst into tears - so down to the hospital David Jr. and David came.  Right before the anesthesiologist's nurse walked in I began to nurse David Jr.  Upon seeing this, the nurse said that since I'll be under general anesthesia for less than an hour she would say that I only need to pump and dump once before I could nurse him again.  Feeling much better away I went for my first "real" surgery.  I was pulled into the operating room at 3:51 and was in recovery alert at 4:45.  After less than an hour I was dressed and loaded into my mom's car with a bag catheter for the next 5 days.
Carly, her Grandma, and Aunt Julia returned from a lovely trip to the beach on Sunday.  Unfortunately, I was not cleared to drive, lift, and was still carrying a plastic catheter bag with me so was finding it very difficult to fully take care of David Jr. and was clueless about how I would also take care of Carly too - this really made me feel bad, in addition to feeling very unattractive thanks to a catheter bag.  (Thankfully, Janet and Julia were able to stay through the week to help me with both children.)

Today my cup returned to being half full.  David Jr, Janet, and I made our way to the urologist's office just before lunch time.  During my exam I was told that everything had healed nicely, the catheter could be removed, and my restrictions now only included those already set by my OBGYN from delivery and lifting more than 20 - 25 pounds for the next week (too bad Carly is just over 30 pounds).  Carly will be heading to Atlanta for next week due to my lifting instructions, but then hopefully we will be able to establish our family's new "normal" as a family of 4.