I Have Found My Balance!!

It is funny how quickly life changes. During Carly's 10pm feeding I began thinking about how quickly my life has changed over the past 8 weeks and how I have found my balance. Thinking back, Dave and I left the doctor 8 weeks ago today knowing that Carly would be coming soon and soon enough that they wanted to see me back on Wednesday (if she hadn't come). Back then (because it was sooo long ago) I was a high strung, perfectionist teacher. My life revolved around the students in my classroom and really had since the day I really decided to pursue a career in education. I chose USC because it could offer a 5 year Masters program. I worked at an afterschool and summer program at a local elementary school for over 5 years. I attended workshops in the summer months, got to school at 6:30 (if not earlier) each morning, and only left school before 5 if I had some place I HAD to be... I always brought work home (even over the summer months and long vacations). I checked my school e-mail at least once an hour each evening, just in case a parent sent a message or another teacher e-mailed out a GREAT idea. I graded and planned so much in the evening that Dave bought me a laptop during our first year of marriage so that I could at least sit downstairs with him in the evening.

Throughout my entire pregnancy Dave reminded me that I needed to find balance. That he and Carly would have to come first and school would need to start taking a distant third. I knew deep down this was true, but didn't know how I would ever be able to achieve such balance. During one of the staff meetings I missed due to a doctor's appointment my principal even spoke of how the staff as a whole needed to find balance... (This idea was trying to reach me!)

Well, I'm not working at the moment but I have found balance. I pray that this balance will stay with me as I cherish all of the small moments now with Carly and Dave. Last week I needed to get out of the house early for a hair cut and I just laid in bed listening to Carly breath as she slept on my chest. I knew good and well I could have moved her to the bassinet or over to Dave's chest, but I also knew those were moments I would never be able to get back if I rushed them away. So I just laid there and finally at the last second possible got up to leave. This weekend the three of us ran errands and visited Santa. Eight weeks ago I would have said that I didn't do anything this past weekend because nothing was "monumental;" however, my perception as changed. I did do stuff this weekend, I ran Christmas errands with Dave and Carly, got to see Santa, and even had a pretzel from our favorite pretzel shop along the way. And then tonight before Carly's last feeding a simple game of peek-a-boo entertained Carly, Dave, and I for many minutes. Dave was trying to calm her down from an I'm hungry and tired fussy spell and just began playing to see what would happen (and probably because he was tired of her crying in his ear). This simple act turned into Dave going to get his camera and us all playing together as a family. We not only played peek-a-boo, but we also watched her track the butterfly on the blanket we were using and giggle when I made the butterfly fly around her. Unfortunately, I believe that had something like this happened earlier this school year then I would have been staring at the clock thinking about how much I still needed to accomplish at 9:50 pm, not completely mesmerized by how much fun my daughter was having with her parents.


I truly believe that a nine month sabbatical is truly what the doctor ordered.

Mommy Time

Today Carly and Dave went on their first independent outing together. Dave had some errands he needed to run, and I had some fudge that needed to be made for a party tomorrow night - so he decided to take her with him. It was very cute to watch him prepare for their adventure. He got her small diaper bag and rummaged through it to make sure it was stocked with the necessities and to pull out my wallet, keys, and cell phone (it has become my new purse). He then grabbed a bottle (just in case she got the munchies) and the baby carrier. He got her all settled in the car seat and then asked for help getting out the door. I had to chuckle at watching him try to get everything, since I'm sure I look like a mess trying to get to the car in one trip without letting Jake get out when I'm home during the day and need to run an errand. Once they were both settled into the truck I dashed inside to let Jake back in the house and to start my Christmas baking. Jake travelled through the house in search of Dave and Carly and then came and stared at me in the kitchen. It reminded me of the time Dave had gone to Germany for work and Jake just stared out the window at Dave's truck, and then would run to one of Dave's "usual" spots in the house.

Dave and Carly were gone for just over an hour, but during that time I accomplished SO much. I had forgotten how fast certain chores took when you weren't carrying around a 9+ pound daughter. When they re-entered the house, I had made two batches of fudge, cleaned the kitchen, and was swapping out a loads of laundry. My "mommy time" wasn't super exciting, but I can tell from their faces that Dave and Carly enjoyed their first solo trip! Maybe that means they will continue to have solo trips, and I can have slightly more exciting mommy time.

Or Another...

HE-HE-WHOO... HE-HE-WHOO..

Well we have now completed the hospital's child birthing class!! Unfortunately our accomplishment came with no graduation or certificate, but we did learn a lot during our time and had some fun while doing it.

On Friday evening the instructor mentioned that there would be 30 people (15 couples) participating in the class, so things would get tight. Luckily not everyone showed up and we had more room than was first anticipated. Which turns out to be a good thing when 1/2 of the participants in the room feel like over sized blimps and 2 of them wishing they would POP at any moment to rid themselves of their current discomfort. This first evening was rather slow and the group sat there like bumps on a log just trying to take in all of the information and wondering when the emphasis "birthing video" would be shown. Finally around 9:00 we learned that we would watch the first portion, showing stage 1 of labor and would actually see stage 2 of labor (delivery) on Saturday morning, after of course we had all had time for our breakfast to settle down.

On Saturday we began with a Q/A session and our instructor was trying to wake us all up. Her sense of humor really began to show and helped lead up to the climax in the video we were all anticipating and dreading. Finally after our short morning break it was time for the viewing to resume. Everyone watched, prepared to be grossed out or frightened to no end. Then it was done and a classmate commented about how this was nothing like the famous tape they showed high schoolers during the sex education unit. This was the beginning of a relaxed rest of the day. Our instructor taught us many relaxation techniques and massage positions (which sent the class into chuckles), and had a 10 minute tangent about the show "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." It was very humorous to listen to her discuss how the girls/women on this show were either uneducated or in denial the entire time they were pregnant and how we won't be so dumb to miss the signs of labor (a common fear that we would miss the signs and end up delivering in some random, non-hospital location) since we had recognized the obvious that we were pregnant and knew a due date was in our future.

While we didn't learn Lamaze like many used to learn and I assumed we would learn, we did have a more enjoyable time than expected.